A Yearning Revealed
by Keline Jacquegai Chisp
Summary: This is about the fact that teachers have yearnings too. Severus at last has his only chance to really get what he has wanted for so long, but when he is denied it, is there really any reason to live?


**A Yearning Revealed**

**Written by Keline Jacquegai Chisp**

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**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognize from the Harry Potter novels, all rights to those amazing books go to JK Rowling.

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**A/N: Please read and review.**

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**Chapter One**

She was so at peace, standing as her hair blew in the wind. It was still as bushy and her eyes still as brown as that first time I saw her. In my class, with her attitude of-ever-annoying-confidence.

I had not seen her in such a state of calm since her engagement. She considered herself a widow to her dead fiancé. She simply stood there in the middle of a field, her eyes serenely closed. I wonder if she knew that I released my house-elf when she began S.P.E.W. Just a foolish dream of a girl that touched me like no other act of such goodness had ever before.

He was her former teacher, (only former as of an hour ago and her graduation) and yet that was no longer a barrier to use as an excuse. He had no reason not to tell her, she was the only one he had ever feared. Just a young girl, then a young lady, aged in knowledge to a young woman and he loved her.

He could only assume this was love, for what else could have lasted for so long and caused such jealousy of a young boy such as Weasley? What else would cause great passion to grasp her, before she said another word? Honestly it had to be love.

He walked quickly in what if Hermione had her eyes open would have been very frightening manner towards her. He grasped her and kissed her letting all the years of pain, of killing Dumbledore by orders, her crying, having to pretend to hate her, embarrassment cause by the Marauders and all the other pain he had ever experienced drift away, as he expressed his love through this kiss.

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I stood there embraced by long cold hands, my eyes still closed. Even Ron never kissed me with such passion. I felt a need to kiss me coming from this person and I had a need to oblige.

My hands drifted to his head and found upon his head only disgustingly oily hair. But I still stood there having none else to do. Still feeling this great need to help the poor person who held me so tight.

And then he released as he realized I did not hold him. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a nose I knew too well, but a face that showed such pain and grief, as never have I seen. My previous professor, (of only an hour ago) Severus Snape, was embracing me Hermione Granger!

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She looked frightened and startled and very uncomfortable, almost disgusted. I disgusted her, and the last hope I had lived for all these years died. My only hope of possible joy left me, as I released her from my embrace.

"I apologize Miss Granger," I said and turned on my heel but finding I had nowhere to go. The first thing I laid eyes upon was the lake and I began to run towards it. There I would purge away all my pain and remain forever.

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He ran and dove into the lake and my first thought was that of the giant squid but then I remembered they had removed it previously this year. What possessed me to follow him I may never know, but follow I did. I dove into the lake and calm washed over me as I entered the water.

Never had I seen him look sicklier then now. In the pale green light the water made as sun reflected into it he looked distraught and nauseous. His hair flowed freely from its normal oily state.

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No! She couldn't remain here much longer, I had put in a poison that only affected wizards to die painlessly and yet if I did she would too. She was even now beginning to look green and she had begun to go paler.

I took the strength that remained in me that the potion had yet not taken away and swam towards her. I grasped her by the waist and began to swim upward my muscles dulling as a result of the potion and screaming in pain as I proceeded to the surface.

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What was he doing? He dove into the lake I dove after him and now he is trying to reach the surface with me in his grasp? My head began spinning and my body went numb, as though I was freezing.

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She went limp in my arms and my struggle to make it to the surface increased. Only an inch away now and at last my head broke the surface and I breathed fresh air not the poison residing in the lake.

I struggled to the side desperately praying for my Hermione to be all right. I at last collapsed upon the shore and pulled her along with me. I gasped as I desperately tried to supply oxygen to my lungs, which they had been denied of, for what seemed like forever.

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I hit the surface, sudden warmth spread through me. As though life had been absent of me for a moment and had just returned, and let breath come into my lungs. I opened my eyes to see the blue sky, not the sickly, sickening green of the lake and the sunlight filtered through it.

I felt wonderful, as though my life had only just started in that beautiful moment. On this beautiful day and it was bliss. Being alive, as though I had passed to death and been liberated just before full cold grasps of death held me.

But then a cold needy grasp, held onto me. But it was more comforting then that moment of uncertainty of life or death. It was a loving cold grasp, proof against the belief that love was shown only through heat.

I rolled over to get closer to that cold, comforting presence. Like a brisk swim, that was at first uncomfortable but then relaxing. Like the chill of ice down your back, until you laugh at how funny the person, whom sent the ice down your back, thinks it is.

I ran my hand up the cold arm, and the comforting speedy beat of his pulse. Until I felt an engraving in the arm I ran my fingers up and down. It was a swirling, almost slithering design that was branded unnaturally so upon the skin, which had seemed to die when this touched it.

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I heard movement and knew my sweet Hermione was safe. Why had she done such a stupid thing, as follow me? Suddenly a touch of warmth, more welcomed by me then anything I had ever felt. She began running her warm hands along my arm, sending chills through my body.

She ran her fingers over my Mark, and I was shocked. I had never thought such a thing good, but she gave it a special touch, that made it almost alive again. It was an odd sensation, feeling as though my arm was living again after all these years of servitude. Then I realized she was touching the Mark, something that must have been dangerous for her and I drew away quickly, but felt cold again.

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Why did he draw away? This cold calming presence? I wanted it closer, back again, I was to hot by myself. I groped for it, but found only fabric. I turned on my side, to look for where this wonderful presence had come from.

On the ground beside me I saw Severus Snape, his arms crossed over him, as though protecting himself. And then he turned over towards me and I saw something I had never dared look at before, his eyes.

They were black and seemed lost in a million ways. They seemed cold, but intelligent. I found I couldn't look away, from his eyes. They entranced me as nothing had ever done before. And they had another thing I had only seen once before, in blue eyes, I missed so horribly in Ron's eyes. In these black endless pits, I saw love.

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She turned and looked at me, her brown eyes showing that interest she showed about so much. Could it be I was an interest? That stare was held so strong, I wanted her warmth back so terribly, but I knew I couldn't have it.

This almost broke me down, but no I couldn't break down. I had to be gone and to never see her again. I tried hard to stand up, but I couldn't bring myself to break this connection.

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I felt insane as I spoke these words, "Do you love me?" I asked, staring still into those endless entrancing eyes.

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Did she just ask if I loved her? How could she ask such a thing? I loved her as lungs love breath. I loved her as… something mere words could never describe, not ever.

"If love is wanting to hold you every moment, I love you. If love is wanting to die, if I could not be with you in life, I love you. If love is hate of myself, for not being able to tell you, I love you. If love is… indescribable, I love you." I found this is all the reply I could muster, all the… unknowable needs I had, were released.

"Love is. And _you_ love _me_?" She told me, asking a question at the same time as answering it, as she asked it. Something only she could do.

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Had I just told him, he loved me? I found myself asking, "Then why did you pull away?" Hurt and need shown in his eyes, a combination, I had almost never seen, one, which sent my soul wondering.

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I found myself screaming in my head. I didn't want to! I swear it hurt so badly, to pull away from your warmth. "Because you bring me to do things as this." I told her, removing my soaking self from the mud to kiss her sweet lips, softly, because if I kissed any more I would never want to leave her presence, the warmth I had found in her.

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**A/N: did you like this? Would you like me to continue or would you rather I left it like this? Please tell me, because if anyone is reading this and enjoying it I will be glad to continue, though I like this standing by it self quite a lot. Keline Jacquegai Chisp**


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